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About Deviant Official Beta Tester WaeffeMale/United Kingdom Recent Activity
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ssgreen:iconssgreen:
hi mate love the art at small nation this weekend its going to be a mud bath
Fri Jul 8, 2011, 1:35 AM
SolPeruibe
:wave: :hug:
Mon Apr 19, 2010, 4:03 AM
Noe-Me:iconnoe-me:
Hey, a lot o' nice stuff in yo' galle'y. :P
Sun Apr 11, 2010, 12:18 PM
RayOfSanity:iconrayofsanity:
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh
Mon Dec 21, 2009, 8:16 AM
PrepareForImpact:iconprepareforimpact:
How could you be such an amazing artist, and yet be so unrecognised? Your one of the best artists i have EVER seen, you absolutely blow my mind! You deserve SO much more recognition! :hug:
Sun Dec 13, 2009, 7:55 PM
Waeffe:iconwaeffe:
Ahh well, that was fun.
Fri Apr 7, 2006, 3:21 PM
Waeffe:iconwaeffe:
Erm, sorta testing...dunno what this is for really. Guess I'll find out soon enough
Fri Apr 7, 2006, 3:20 PM
Nobody

Activity


What lays behind....


To understand what lays

Behind and beyond

In a brief shared moment

Of painful contemplation

Our worlds shake between us

As we wrestle with tears

And gaze pleadingly to each other



I will hold your hand until you are


No more



Stumbling clumsily

I struggle with my convictions

As you hold grimly

To the last of your empire

The throne once valiant

With me willing and only born

My chest pounds in awful acceptance



I will hold you close until you are


No more



Bouncing weakly between

My strengths collide

With your heroic stubbornness

I falter then

A silent scream permits none

To know how close I am

To all you ask and all you wish



I will comfort you until you are


No more



Our eyes lock with lost words

The ones which now need not be spoke

Until the next and until that past

I steady myself for the days

That end all fight

When the spirit shall soar

And we wander together once more in dreams



I will always love even after you are


No more
Watching….

How masked were your actions
When cast amongst the unknown
Unable to define
The merest fathoms of words
Yet with such honourable dignity
You smile
And with that sheer depth of courage
I am so small in this world
So fragile I find
The moments of regret seem trivial now
For all the times of wishfulness
For each and every penitence
I now find myself rueing
I know for absolute conviction within
That sidelong and wistful
You accept
I
The signs that I have noted
And the heralds I have slain
Careful reflections are shared
To hold bay the hurts that follow
I watch and I listen
Serenity is foremast
So that all that you imagine
Is in control, has no confusion
Simply to be in each other’s
Each together
As one
I look when you do not know
And see only myself in your pain
And oft wonder
Will I make the same, will I reach this also
So little left I see
And with these fleeting unfair hours
Compressed into cold corridors
Watching others misery pass by
Together we imagine we are somehow different
That this will all pass
That today is just bad
Just bad
With that same smile then
You try and convince me
But I know it is yourself you are tricking
Into believing it will be better
I see these things in you
Your eyes can not hide from me
From your own blood
We are each other which can never change
And I am left
Humbled by you
The times I wish
I could see thro your mind
And wonder at how this may seem to me
How poor I always feel I give
Wondering after your needs all days
While you even dare to consider
The burden you feel
To all around
When I cast back to the times
Before and the tasks I compelled
And the aches and the worries
That you held me close thro
How can I find now these days
To now shoulder the same
As once was too often and now
We swing round surprised
To be there and comfort to be there is all
So that you may deeply realise now
This closeness will grow and to be
Hold strength from my warmth
And feel peace from my touch
Please always know I dream
That when the last is so near
And the panic sets so deep
I will be close and guide you
No matter your choices
Your body
Your life
You will always live on....
The Deepening….

From first my secret gaze, held you in
Immediate recognition of whom you would be
To me and all parts of what would become
A growing tempest for that I strive
And self-inspection causes
Such lowly considerations of myself.

I observe and listen, and am held a willing captive
Your mesmerising words paint me sweetly
In all the time we spend, and the parting greater
But in anticipations pulse
I know you will confess to yourself
The needs shared become most pressing.

For once more the building of a mutual trust
Or are the diaries of madmen what drives
And the mocking of peers falls on the deaf
For the strength now between us
And new learned confidences abound
You still wield the power to allow all or none.

The birthing the breaking to each renewed pledge
Seen oft from afar but with pain still within
But hurt becomes peaceful followed by calm
Understanding breeds wisdom
And with these new days of testing we find
In ourselves that we surrender to each other.

Our imaginations flourish till we accept one outcome
My triumph is boundless to consider I hold
Your attention and veiled thoughts
Your fears are now become my own
In the proud hope they will lesson
And that your spell will live on.

And yet I cower in such awe
At every line on your face driven
By the pains that I fail to ward away
This failure sinks deep, sinks me deep
To an endless battle within
That one day you will spin in pure joy.

The words we know and the words we hold
Cast shadows at times from the struggles
We sometimes suffer with silence
When we should be open and gain
From that now requited confided and more
Sure convictions together allow us to atone.
I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

From new birthed moments we dance
Held enraptured in each balmy movement
Seconds held forever in an everlasting question
Whilst always missing the intended script
For fear drives well in these unknown heartbeats.

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

With Saintly hands that guide and lead me
Without whose care much less be clear
Entwined and twirling the dance becomes
More earned more yearned until we
Part our breaths with knowing glances.

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

The burning in mine eyes with you unaware
Views over and relished anointed in imagery
In swathes of knowing and wish-most pleas
In a harbour of restless hopes
We traverse each other attentively .

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

Held motionless unable to move toward
Mesmerised in each slender whim
And cast bleating afterwards
Thoughts tumbling and thunderous
Mind-spun dreams purvey scented intakes.

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

The devil inside can not bequeath
So unbidden and sudden
For when stark realisation beckons
And whether acceptance overcomes
The crash into becomes worth all.

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

The distance before and morrow’s touch
Leave little to doubt that all is possible
To allow each self to open and accept
To welcome the expanse shared in tandem
Shall all now lean to the other.

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

After the chess has ended
And with nothing more left but to resign
To another’s world with renewed resolve
And energies abound while the dance regains
Its former churning and eager wishing.

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….

Humbled now with the passing days
Shown so clearly that which survives
And with heart and bone now serene
Unbroken desires lay sweetly within
Hearts seldom distant nor alone

I shall be the first and I shall be the last….
....and into nothing....


For all the years I caused you grief
And for all the fears you took from me
With unbounded strengths to protect
And the unfettered patience that was always
I find myself in these ends of days
In contemplations reverie
Forever in your debt
Ever in complete awe of your humilities shown.

For I now know your pains and tears
They abound within me each thought
That screams it’s presence it’s right to be
And course around what’s left of me
The slightest ache the least of woes
Takes a toll far worse than known
Gladly I would live this instead
To give more life to ease the loss.

Yet with each drawn breath and each fallen chore
The driving of hope becomes less clear
I must guide and I must hide
Ne’er show to you I am still small
The trembling hand and shaking mind
I take my rest when e’er I might
With each dawn new and every raised day
I know with clarity yours is worse.


To watch your fall and hear your aches
To see your eyes fill up with such
Unspoken torments and stoic resolve
Always ahead be better times
Yet I see a day without and yearn
For each found moment each thought aloud
And cherished tales of youthful splendour
Remind me of a world before.

The weakness growing in every way
With knowing looks and shared glances
No words in this reflected agony
My own hands become the Father
And now offer the comfort
Inevitable failure it seems will prevail
But with dignity’s reign we do our utmost
And loose our prayers upon those forlorn.

I see too clearly I see too late
What must be lost and must be given
The closeness birthed with warmth renewed
No matter the cost we will prevail
To allow the last not become the end
To forever hold so close and grow
With what you give with what we owe.  
Torn (reprise)....


Another night draws to a close

How do I keep my thoughts composed

I’m left choking on the dust

Of memories laid to rest


How can I pretend to say

Where to start to whom to pray

I watch as you grow weak

Forever etched forever steeped


In depths that have no bound

No solace I have found

The changing and the hurt

Every hour every word



And it tears my heart apart

It tears my heart apart

Leaving little for me now

Just faded photographs somehow



With beats run frail and slow

And hand held grown so cold

Over-flowing visions blur'd

A chosen place for all unfurled



And it tears my heart apart

It tears my heart apart

Leaving nothing for me now

Just faded photographs somehow



Sadly what is done is done

To late to undo what's been spun

With mem’ries held on close

In hearts always foremost


With final ease of lifelong pain

And furrow’d lines ne’er show a strain

In peaceful gaze and countenance

Youthful slumbered remembrance


And it tears my heart apart

It tears my heart apart

Leaving nothing for me now

Just faded photographs somehow



And it takes my breath away

It takes my breath away

Forever losing self-control

A fool in a graceless fall
March 3rd

The fever has wracked my soul for weeks it seems. My body shudders uncontrollably.

Sweat runs down my forehead and blinds me. I suffer my misery in solitude. What brought this on I do not know, yet it prevails nevertheless. I thought I would not succumb to such. I was so wrong. I have lost much weight. Even the pen I grasp becomes unwieldy to my grasp. I sigh. I last tried some food a week ago, it did not stay long inside, what little I managed that is.

Pain.

My body curls and writhes in it. Strangely the feeling is sweet. That worries me. When the spasms overwhelm me, thoughts become impossible. That is good. That is freedom But still it hurts so much, even I struggle to bear the anguish, even I. The people grow restless, they demand a voice. Yet the authorities harken not. Oblivious in their blinkered kingdom inherit, the time will not be long awaited tho I feel. Gossip in the taverns arouses the meek. Angers the rowdy, shocks the anointed betrothen. I scratch myself relentlessly. Yet the itch persists. How long must I listen to the dead make their journey. I am alone now in the building, the last remaining within the taverns dark reaches. They get my money still, my needs after all are little. But the ache plagues me.

I clutch at my belly tightly as it twists and turns, causing my brow to knot with an expression of bemused pleading.

Eduardo Manklow



March 8th

Soon the Gathering will be upon me. I have seen so many over the years. Each year things change, things remain and things evolve. Yet it is a constant surprise to me every time. Seeing fresh faced folk in awe of their new surroundings always gives me pleasure. It is a time of stories, of strange events. My heart tho always has a certain amount of dread leading up to it. Maybe I have become too set in my ways of late. Maybe I am just simply tired of it all. Still, I do look forward to meeting old friends. This year threatens to be different as many have told me they wish not to attend this time. They will be missed. There are, sadly, those no longer walking the lands, they will be even more thought of in their absence.

I plan to travel light this time, tho I always end up taking many things that I do not need. Nevertheless I will use the time to contemplate all that has gone before, and all that may have been. I know that I will long to return even before I have left tho. Theses feelings have always overcome me, distance makes this more pronounced until I must resign myself in acceptance. I should be accustomed by now, but I still feel dread the closer the day comes. It is unavoidable but yet it is my choice after all. I can offer blame to no one else, my own shoulders must carry the weight.

As usual I will leave it until eves-night to gather what I need, it almost allows me the hope to not leave that way. A foolish thought that has no bearing on reality, I always go. One year tho I may yet surprise myself.

Eduardo Manklow



March 9th

Whenever in life times of woe have amassed, I have always had music and words and the vastness of nature to find solace and calm within. The tangled and warped landscapes that seer my mind, only compel me to withdraw and cower lest I relent and allow myself to become forevermore cast astray.

The terror and beguiling sweetness of abject surrender to these maelstroms envelope me entirely. The fear of allowing myself to become willingly helpless is sooooo tempting....

....and yet, strength and resolve I must bring forth and always remind myself that these feeling are merely fleeting. I will be stronger tomorrow, I must draw on that which gives even the most short-lived of hopes.

I must endure.

I must be strong.

I must....be hopeful....

Eduardo Manklow



March 13th

My goals are simple at times, mainly to adjust to the changes that are overtaking me. My thoughts whirl as I open up to the differences around me. I find that silence sometimes is a helpful ally. There are those that seek to sanction there own existence, yet I have always shied away from such self-gratifying behaviour. Let them that need it most have whatever they want, I do not care for them after all. Their effect on me is of no consequence.

They busy themselves with un-needed duties, fickle hearted as they are, they shall fade as many others before them have also. It amuses me to see them so ready to jump at the slightest summoning. Have they not learned restraint yet? Save it for the long haul is the best approach I have found. Still, it is always entertaining to see them command their ways as such.

Eduardo Manklow



March 16th

For so long now I have been keeping at bay the dark places where my thoughts wish to wander and dwell. I feel I have begun at last to become master of them, at least that is what I now know were my foolish beliefs.

With my trembling heart I ventured to the places I daily must spend, only to be confronted by poisonous acumen which left me utterly devastated. It was all I could do to hold my thoughts calmly and retreat with as much grace as I could muster.

But even as I left, there was one amongst the watching throng who seemed to pour such flippant vitriol unto my torments. Words which I could instantly understand, even in my weakened state, as those memorised from a book.

The sad thing was that if I were at that moment of a stronger mind, I would have struggled to stop myself from laughing and mocking such pathetic, feeble and childish attempts at intercession. But it was only later that I was truly able to recognise how amateurish and insulting such constructs actually were.

I need time, and time is at such a premium these days for I feel in every pulse of my veins, the moments lost and the opinions forever cast with malice.

Eduardo Manklow



March 17th

It is so bizarre how events take turns so unexpected.

Whilst I was fully prepared to fight a battle new with my demons, my ghost succumbed to such ails as to cause my whole body to be as riven from itself.

The utter inconsolable tear that became me, was difficult to put it mildly.

My struggle within however, need take no urgency as I know the good fight can be battled at a later time. Now however, must I take a moments breath and steal myself for a greater foe, that which assails the breath of my life…the Guardian of my soul suffers and I need muster my strengths,  that I may focus on this new challenge.

My compelling fear tho, is that when considering how weak a place I already find myself in, that I will have the wherewithal to be champion to this most deepest of calls.

Eduardo Manklow



March 18th

As the day drew to a close today, a perfect line was drawn across the horizon. Beneath it the sun did glare so brightly that it transformed my surroundings into a maelstrom of burning ochre. The recent blood on the streets was bleached in comparison.

Evenings like these have become a rarity these days, the drab hand-to-mouth life that has enforced itself upon us, takes over all our thoughts. I am fortunate in so much that the wealth that I have accquired over the decades, allows me a small modicom of luxery. If i sought it that is.

The underneath of the storm clouds are tinged with an angry black, peppered with molten reds. As i gaze ever longingly at them, they seem to broil before me, beckoning me towards them. I am so terribly tempted to release myself unto this simple daydream. Put all behind me and succumb to my final madness.

Yet something inside me refuse to give in. Denies such a beguiling dream. Ahhh, if I was just as those that live around me, what few are left that is.

Yesterday I heard the cries of sheer anguish from my neighbours. I first watched them move in almost ten years ago now. Their children have grown before me, yet....of the three that were so happy at their move, none are now left. This festering life that plagues us has taken them all. The parents are old now and realise to their core, that they will have no more. Life can hurt too much at times. I weep silently for them, and wish them all the hope I can muster.

The sun has dipped unseen now. The corrupt and masked lackeys of the town light their torches and cast them with abandon upon the dreams of the many. The glow increases and gives those who have the stomach, a second sunset. I watch the sky erupt in vermillion splendour and fall into the visions that present themselves unto me.

Eduardo Manklow



March 22nd

…and so I have received communication from the Alaudidae, attempting with such painfully poor acumen and yet with very easily to me at least, such impossibly obvious attempts at some form of professionalism. It is so boringly plain and insincere. I try my utmost best to be positive and understand that such folk are really full of their own importance.

Sometimes I do see how sweet it must be that they try it must be said, to use terms and words and words and terms, to elucidate a feeling in me that they are of greater rank and influence. But their very attempts do everything to show me clearly they are not.

But, they do however hold a certain power which can only be forestalled to a short degree, and I must smile and succumb to their pathetic power games.

If only they would consider the effect of their actions on others, but then that would be far too much to expect wouldn’t it.

What they don’t understand is that their meaningless drivel, pales when I have such greater worries to contemplate….that of my ghost and her recovery.

Eduardo Manklow



March 24th

I know my madnesses and weaknesses better than any. I have after all lived with them for long years past.

The thing that has always amazed me is the folk that see me when I am cowering before these, and seek advantage over me. They should realise that it does not last for long, even tho the darkness seems unending to me while I toss and turn. Once I return from thses episodes, their true nature is always stripped open before me for I feel the wisdom and guidance of ghosts from my youth.

Those that were once my life laid bare, talk to me and advise me of the greedy liggers that seek a quick meal. Even held tight and deep within my most suffocating nightmares, I know that she will protect me. Her scent surrounds me in a vail like shield that none may penetrate. They have tried many times and some, it is true, have shown great fortitude in this. Yet still they eventually shrink and fade.

I offer my utmost thanks and prayers to her that surrounds me still and saves me from such vultures of opportunity, for they cast their slime all around.

I must put my pen away for a while, for as I cast my eyes outside, the sky has turned the most pure crystaline blue I can imagine. I can not miss this and must collect my travel bag and walk. I know before I leave where my trail will lead me, to the places that always give me comfort. And I know also before I leave, that on my return, my soul will be calm once more.

I secretly smile to an unseen figure that is always by my side....she will always walk with me and clasp my hand into hers.

Eduardo Mankow
Diary of an immortal - III
Unfinished work in progress, many days to add to this yet.
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'Willow'.... by Waeffe
'Willow'....
One of the sisters up the green in Gower, 2002.

....and now in 2014 down the 'Lane', at around 22 years old....



Willow....1992 - 2014....Good hunting girl.



Willow (reprise).... by Waeffe
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deviantID

Waeffe
Waeffe
United Kingdom
Current Residence: Down 'The Lane'....
Personal Quote: Y Ddraig Goch ddyry gychwyn.
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's April 12th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
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:iconmecengineer:
mecengineer Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015
Happy Birthday
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015
Happy birthday! :D
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:iconmissgrib:
MissGrib Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015   Digital Artist
Happy Birthday !! :rose: Have a great day :hug:
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:iconchriseastmids:
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
:party: :party: have a great birthday :party: :party:
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:iconkuraplkakurta:
KURAPlKAKURTA Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2015  Student General Artist
thanks for the llama!
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:iconchriseastmids:
chriseastmids Featured By Owner Apr 26, 2014  Hobbyist Photographer
as always many thanks for the fave ads :D
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:iconjasperinity:
Jasperinity Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014
Happy birthday! :D (Big Grin)
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:iconbirthdays:
birthdays Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014
:woohoo: :party: :iconcakelickplz: !!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!! :iconcakelickplz: :party: :woohoo:

It's April 12th which means it's that time of the year again and your special day is here! We hope you have an awesome day with lots of birthday fun, gifts, happiness and most definitely, lots of cake! Here's to another year!

Many well wishes and love from your friendly birthdays team :love:

---
Birthdays Team
This birthday greeting was brought to you by: KoudelkaW
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:iconmissgrib:
MissGrib Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2014   Digital Artist
Happy Birthday to you my friend :rose: :hug:
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